he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
