Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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