if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
