Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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