I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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