id be glad to
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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