Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Randomize
