White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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