so explain again why im purple
no
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
