Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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