If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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