We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
