he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
