'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
