he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I had to cum in my sink.
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