I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
