I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
