STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
