I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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