I am puke
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
