Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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