Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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