I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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