we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
