The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
