Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
