people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
