Got a toothbrush?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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