Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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