i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
