yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
