he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
3 2 1 whiskey
Randomize