Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
