Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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