he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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