Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
