I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
