What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
