did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
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It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
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Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night