Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.