he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My liver can't handle being unemployed!