She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
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Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
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It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.