Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.