did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
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I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
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Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?