rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
