I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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