I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
