I swear she didn't look like that last week.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
