that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
