imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
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