So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
