It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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