I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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