So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
