She said her name was "party"
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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