all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
