I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
