I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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