At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
