She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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