she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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