I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
