Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
