That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
