I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
