Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
