Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
