Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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