I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
