Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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