Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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