I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
